so, i recently found out that someone that i kinda thought i was sorta close to really doesn't like me much at all and the only reason given was different personalities.
i'll be honest. i was shocked. like jaw dropped to the floor shocked. i had absolutely no idea.
usually, i can tell if i'm rubbing someone the wrong way or if they just don't care for me. but, i literally had no idea.
it stings to find out you aren't liked or cared for. especially when you think that person really cares about you and it turns out to all be an act. and, when you have a long history with that person. it stings alot. kinda like when you rip a bandaid off. only worse.
then the numbness comes.
and then, the questioning.
satan totally twisting it all in my head and making me question all my relationships.
who really cares for me and who is just "tolerating" me?
who do i matter to? do i really matter?
a constant barrage of questions in my head with everyone i come in contact with.
i feel like i'm walking on eggshells. all. the. time. i hate it!!!
i have to stop listening to satan in my head and let God grow me through this. this is an opportunity for me to learn and grow. i can't waste it being filled with insecurity.
so, my prayer. that God keep molding me into someone He can use to His glory and that i let go of all the insecurities that hold me back from being who He wants me to be.
1 comment:
I love you, Geeg! For realsies!!!
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