pity partay

so, i have been indulging myself in a good old pity partay the past couple of weeks. ugly i know, but true. wrapped up in why i haven't been noticed, cherished or appreciated. silly really. allowing it to balloon into full blown insecurity. bottom line. me. me. me.

i love how God works through my poor attitude and my selfishness. despite my "me" attitude He loves me so much that He will direct my heart to what i need to hear. He brings my focus back to Him. tonite while i was studying i pulled out a workbook from a study that i had participated in years ago called "Loved by God" by Liz Curtis Higgs. as i was flipping through the pages i came across this prayer in the margin and it struck me directly in the heart.

"Heavenly Father, I confess that so often my focus is on me and what I want, and I get angry when I'm lied to or betrayed. Help me replace my anger with patience, my judgment with forgiveness, my selfishness with generosity. Teach me to extend to others the same mercy I so desperately need from you. Help me accept your will for my life and the lives of those I love....."

ouch. guilty. my focus has been on me and what i want. i have been angry and selfish. not at all what i want to be. the complete opposite to be exact. so tonite that will be my prayer so that i can in some small way understand God's love and mercy for me..........